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Nasty nasal and the Duke

Fuck you in yer nose, expletive: This is the second Wordish so far to reference (read: rip off) the great album Texas Funeral by Jon Wayne. The band, not the dead actor. This is an album that I and about 100 other people own. That's how one becomes a cult sensation, just so ya know.* Jon Wayne has a second album, too, called Two Graduated Jiggers, that came out some time in the early Oughties, and I own that, too, but don't listen to it much. Can't tell you why. Maybe it sucks. Maybe there's only so much drunken, faux-amateurish country punk boasting about Texas and America that one girl like me can take. I mean, I (and my good friend Mark) have tried to indoctrinate many, many people into this cult, with precious little success. I myself was jumped in by a very chic and savvy fifty-year-old Swede whose son-in-law--a music journalist at the time--had taped the vinyl for her.

Anytexas.

I can't find my copy of Texas Funeral right now, which really sucks because you know that thing is probably way out of print. But I can't find it, so I can't tell you which song it is wherein the singer--Mr. Wayne--slurs out "Fuck you in yer nose!" I'm pretty sure it's the final, epic track "Texas Studio," a mindfucking portrait of this "band" in the studio with a totally clueless, hit-hungry music exec, to whom the expletive is delivered in the form of a grumpy mumble. The album closer is different from the rest of the record as it utiliizes a healthy dose of tape-manipulated weirdness. As with all things Jon Wayne-related, it's hard to say whether the music exec (and his painfully peppy female familiar) are for real--are they sampled? Are they the band's friends, acting out a part? Did some A&R team somewhere really head into the studio with these moonshine-swilling malcontents and expect to make any money off of it?

And if so, don't they deserve to be fucked in the nose?




*Especially when one of the 101 people is Quentin Tarantino, and he puts the title track on his From Dusk Til Dawn soundtrack.

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