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Because I do like thinking about the thing.

Vogue Esposa, wedding porn: After two months of resisting, I have finally up and done it. I bought a wedding magazine. I still think it's a bad idea, though, and here's why: Bean and I have budgeted $3K for this shindig, tentatively slated to take place on or around the auspicious (and easy-to-remember) date of 10-10-10. Said shindig will (hopefully) be fun, unique, at least a little classy, and large--the "A list" of guests alone comprises more than 125 friends and family. What all this means is that I have a year and a half ahead of me, filled to the conversational brim with married, soon-to-be-married, or wanting-to-be-married friends and acquaintances, all with the best of intentions, treating me like I am the worst kind of ignorant, illusion-drunk fool for thinking we could pull off such a feat on such a meager budget.

Now, I'm not saying that ALL of my friends and acquaintances are like this--thankfully, there are some who trust and believe in the power of my sheer will (and superhuman networking skillz) to get shit done on the cheap. But combine everybody else in that group with an entire wedding industry specifically designed to convince myself and Bean that our union will be cursed from the get-go if we don't have careful flower arrangements with blown-glass take-home souvenir pieces on each and every (compulsorily) linen-laid table, and you've got me running a little bit scared from the whole affair.


I do like thinking about the thing. And I do like talking about the thing. But the fact is that right now, 18 months or so from the thing actually happening--when we haven't yet found the spot that will beget really setting the date, which will, in turn, beget making a thousand other tiny decisions that will make the thing actually happen--most of the time, talking about it just leads to the inevitable conversation about how it's not possible for that little money. Or it leads to a whole lot of questions that I'm not really ready to answer, not till we've found the spot and set the date; not till I've lost 5-10 pounds; not till (and here's a big one) I've finished the script for issue 12 of 12 and can find an illustrator and therefore move onto the next big project which, as mentioned here, is THIS THING.

But I do like thinking about it.

So, yesterday--a sunny, lazy, bicycling Saturday that started with brunch and ended with bourbon-marinated pork chops on the grill--when Bean and I stopped into our by-far-favored locally owned newsstand, I took the plunge. And after consulting with the female half of the ownership, I put back the print magazine version of a "hip" wedding website*, and instead chose to pay through the nose for some super-legit wedding porn, seen here at right.

See, it's in Italian. ALMOST ALL IN ITALIAN, despite the English words on the cover. Which means I can look at the pictures, but the magazine can't even pretend to sell me anything. Because I CAN'T EVEN READ THE PRICES. Not really. And if I could, I wouldn't be able to do the currency conversion without some help. So I can just look at the pictures, ooh and ahh over custom-made, hand-painted cake toppers, wonder how far into the six figures the prettiest dress might be, and leave it at that. I can think about the thing, while looking at pictures of things that are sort of, kind of supposed to be somehow related to the thing. i can connect, without being affected. Because, I mean, seriously, look at this.

I KNOW I can't afford THAT. And I'm allright with it.

*A magazine which, somehow, still bubbled dangerously over with skinny fleets of bridesmaids in peach satin.


Apr. 20th, 2009 12:32 am (UTC)
Oh, you're hired.
That picture is actually from an ad that was in the magazine, for some sort of bridal fair sponsored by said magazine. Again, I can't really say, since, um, almost the entire magazine is in Italian.


hearts n fannys
fancy maybe

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